Less Is More: ADHD, Consequences and Punishments
Sometimes less is more.
This is a counterintuitive statement (goes against intuition) which is often true when dealing with misbehavior in children. Conventional wisdom is that the more you yell at your child for a wrong deed, the better. However, I usually do not find this to be true. What you do when you yell is give your child lots of negative
attention. Sometimes this rewards the behavior instead of punishing it.
The more you yell the more powerful your child might feel.
It is better to deal calmly and efficiently. Tell your child the
consequence and move on.
We define a punishment as anything which follows a behavior and
decreases the probability for recurrence.
A reward is anything which follows a behavior and increases the
probability for recurrence. If you are yelling over and over regarding
the same type of misdeed, you are probably not punishing the problem.
Regarding less is more, shorter consequences tend to work better than
longer ones. When we use long consequences we have a difficult time
following through and can easily end up burying our child in
punishments. Better to use shorter punishments and follow through.
That way children also learn that we mean what we say.
